RCCG Sunday School Student’s Manual 16th April 2023 – Lesson 33
TOPIC: Managing Difficult People
MEMORY VERSE: Proverbs 20:3 (KJV)
It is an honour for a man to cease from strife: but every fool will be meddling.
BIBLE PASSAGE: Genesis 13:7-11 (KJV)
7 And there was a strife between the herdmen of Abram’s cattle and the herdmen of Lot’s cattle: and the Canaanite and the Perizzite dwelled then in the land.
8 And Abram said unto Lot, Let there be no strife, I pray thee, between me and thee, and between my herdmen and thy herdmen; for we be brethren.
9 Is not the whole land before thee? separate thyself, I pray thee, from me: if thou wilt take the left hand, then I will go to the right; or if thou depart to the right hand, then I will go to the left.
10 And Lot lifted up his eyes, and beheld all the plain of Jordan, that it was well watered every where, before the Lord destroyed Sodom and Gomorrah, even as the garden of the Lord, like the land of Egypt, as thou comest unto Zoar.
11 Then Lot chose him all the plain of Jordan; and Lot journeyed east: and they separated themselves the one from the other.
LESSON INTRODUCTION: A difficult person may be one who is snobbish, argumentative, quarrelsome, selfish, insensitive, or rude. Difficult people seem to know just how to “push one’s buttons” and stir up trouble. By difficult person, we mean people with certain personality traits or emotional characteristics that makes it difficult for you to relate with them. Difficult people can take many forms; however, it is expedient to learn how to manage them.
LESSON OUTLINES:
- IDENTIFYING DIFFICULT PEOPLE
- HOW TO MANAGE DIFFICULT PEOPLE.
1. IDENTIFYING DIFFICULT PEOPLE
There are different types of difficult people.
- The ‘Downers’: Those who always have something bad to say, complain, criticise and judge (2Samuel 6:20-21).
- The ‘Better Tanks’: Also known as ‘Know it all.’ They are arrogant and usually think their opinion in superior on every issue. When they are wrong, they get defensive (1Samuel 2:3).
- The ‘Passives’: Also are known as ‘Push-Overs.’ They do not contribute much to conversations or people around them and let other do the hard work (Luke 10:40).
- The ‘Snipers’: These are quick attackers; they use rude comments, biting mockery, or insults that cut people down during interactions (Nehemiah 2:19; 4:3).
- The ‘Blame gamers’: Those who shift blames or give excuses for their wrongdoings rather than try to resolve a problem (Genesis 3:9-12).
- The ‘Yes People’: They agreed to every commitment, yet rarely deliver. You cannot trust them to follow through (Matthew 21:28-30).
- The ‘No People’: They are quick to point out why something will not work. They are inflexible (2Kings 7:1-2)
- The ‘Dictators’: They bully and intimidate, they are constantly demanding and brutally critical (2Chronicles 32:9-15).
- The ‘Grenade Person’: This person, after a brief period of calm, explodes into unfocused ranting and raving about things that have nothing to do with the present circumstances (Matthew 2:16)
- The ‘perfectionist’: Someone who is unwilling to settle for anything that is not perfect or does not meet extremely high standards.
2. HOW TO MANAGE DIFFICULT PEOPLE
Our response to difficult people should model the examples provided by Jesus. Here are some of the things we need to do:
- Be calm: Avoid losing your temper at difficult people (Proverbs 14:29).
- Understand the person’s intentions: Try to identify the persons trigger. Find out what is making them act difficult (1Thessalonians 5:21).
- Do a ‘background check’: Find out how others have been relating with the person (Ecclesiastes 1:13).
- Let the person know your intentions: Sometimes, people are resistance because they think you being difficult with them (Colossians 4:6).
- Build a rapport: Try to establish a close relationship with the person and learn about their families, hobbies, important dates, etc (Proverbs 18:24a).
- Escalate to a higher authority for resolution: Sometimes, the way to get along with the person may be through the top-down approach (Matthew 18:15-17).
- Apply godly wisdom: Sometimes, wisdom demands that you learn how to avoid conflict with a difficult person or know when to walk away.
You need to be careful not to become the ‘difficult person’ yourself (Proverbs 22:3).
CONCLUSION
Dealing with difficult people is an exercise in patience, love and grace.
QUESTION
- Mention three types of difficult people.
- How can believers handle difficult people?
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RCCG Sunday School manual is used in Sunday School Classes in the RCCG.
The RCCG Sunday school manual is written by Pastor E.A. Adeboye and is available online for easy access. See the previous RCCG Sunday school Manual for 2023 here
